Uncertainty

Other than the IUD debacle, the past few months have been full of megace, research, lots of spinning classes, some fun trips, decorating our new house, waiting for my next D&C, and uncertainty. I am still trying to eat well, exercising lots, going to acupuncture, and meditating. Sadly, I gained the 7 pounds back. Oh well – there are worse things, right?

I basically feel like life is totally up in the air right now. Depending on the results of the next D&C, we could be starting IVF, continuing megace, or we could be potentially preparing for a hysterectomy. I am mentally preparing for any possibility but I try to be positive. And that means thinking about IVF – even in the back of my mind. In February, we met with our original fertility specialist – the one who made the cancer diagnosis. We are planning to use her clinic for our “fertility needs.” She is prepared to start as soon as we are ready and will work with my new gyn-onc.

So if we are going to start IVF, that means being in town for the process, which can take months. And if I am able to get pregnant, I will be high risk and we will be super nervous about everything, which means we will not want to travel. I am planning bachelorette parties and getting invited to weddings that I do not know if I will be able to attend. If I am not, it will be for a great reason, and everyone understands that – but it is really difficult to not know what is coming down the pipeline. Honestly, it feels like the past 14 months have just been a waiting game.  I guess I should be used to it by now.

In case I am not going to be traveling in the near future, I just went on a few fun trips. My husband and I had a blast visiting his family in Vancouver for Easter. And then my four college roomies flew me out to San Francisco to visit them and celebrate my 30^th birthday (which isn’t until September, I swear!). I highly suggest biking across the Golden Gate Bridge! 

So I flew cross country twice in April!  It was a great distraction leading up to my April 26 surgery. Yep – I had one last Thursday. My doctor should be calling with the results any day now… 

This procedure was at a new hospital, with a new doctor, without a hand-picked anesthesiologist but everything went just fine. It was really nice to not see my colleagues all over the surgical areas. I think I was more tired after this one than the last but nothing a few naps couldn’t fix.

Sorry if this post was just full of random thoughts but they were ones I wanted to share. I will update with the results of my surgery when I have them.