A Little Good News

On Friday, my middle sister was flying in and my older sister and I planned to pick her up at the airport and give her the news.  But before the airport trip, it was “Generations Day” at our nieces’ preschool.  My hubby and I headed there with my mom to be the girls’ “generations.”  Each class sang one or two songs in a little show.  Then we headed to their classrooms to help them with a craft.  We switched back and forth between their two classrooms and they were pretty adorable!  

On the way to the airport I again had the rollercoaster feeling in my stomach, thinking about telling my sister.  When we picked her up, she immediately asked me how my time in Florida had been.  I couldn’t lie and said it had been “fine.”  “Fine?  Just fine?  Your Florida vacation!” she said (she is a very enthusiastic person!).  “Well we have some not good news that explains it.”  Our older sister and I relayed the news and events of the past few days.  She was, of course, surprised and concerned but very supportive.  We decided that lunch outside was in order and called my mom and hubby to meet us there with the girls.  It was a great restaurant but I just wasn’t that hungry – I hadn’t been since I heard the news.  

My dad called in the middle of lunch to let me know that he had received the pathology report that we sent earlier and his gyn onc colleague had reviewed it.  He was encouraged that the path was Grade I and thought that I would be a candidate for conservative treatment if I met the other criteria.  That was good news but I mostly just pushed my food around for the rest of lunch.  It was starting to hit me that vacation was ending and I was going to have to deal with this in the world of real life and my demanding job. Could I handle it all? 

My oldest sister told me later that she was feeling sick to her stomach at lunch after I spoke with my dad on the phone and came back and only pushed my food around.  She was worried that he had given me bad news about the MRI.  Thank goodness that wasn't the case.

That afternoon I called the gyn onc department again, trying to get an earlier appointment.  The appointment secretary was still out of the office but would be back on Monday so I decided to try again from home.  Then my dad called with the results of the MRI.  Good news!  There was no sign of invasion into the uterine wall, no sign of enlarged lymph nodes, and no sign of metastases!  That was a huge relief (to say the least).  

I was relieved but starting to feel really nervous about everything I had to get done when I got back home.  I am an anesthesia resident and I was scheduled to be back in the operating room bright and early on Monday morning.  That meant spending a few hours on Sunday evening preparing for my cases and planning by phone with my attending.  It also meant that I would be in the operating room all day with a 15 minute break in the morning, and a 30 minute break for lunch.  No time during business hours for phone calls (or chest x-rays)…  It was time to tell my program director and determine what level of support I would have.  

I gathered the courage to tell my first non-family member (and my boss!) and called.  She was incredibly supportive.  Right away she told me that the program and the department would support me however I needed.  If I needed time for appointments, they would help.  If I needed time off, they would work with me to provide this.  She told me that my health was the most important thing and that they would do whatever I needed.   And she gave me a nonclinical day on Monday so that I could ease back into work and organize all of the things I needed to get done!  

I felt a little more under control and not quite as terrified of returning to the real world. I even called my good friend that night (rollarcoaster feeling...) and gave her the news.  She came to visit right after my surgery so she had been the first to know about our struggle with infertility, and playing with her adorable 5-month-old boy had been a great distraction as I recovered.  She was floored at the diagnosis - I had told her the polyps were no big deal - but also optimistic.  

As I prepared to head back home, I knew that I already had support up and down the east coast.