Getting Back Into It

I am sorry that I have not blogged since my procedure in June.  I know that I probably left you hanging without giving you the results.  Before my D&C last June I was really optimistic.  I really hoped (and to some degree thought) that the cancer would be gone and that we would be able to move on with fertility treatments.  The carcinoma improved to complex hyperplasia with atypia but this was only a small step in the right direction. 

After that I was really down.  I was working crazy hours, 12+ hour normal days plus up to 24 hour in-hospital calls.  I just couldn’t handle it all.  I would randomly start to cry.  I started a rotation on our in-hospital pain service and had to round on my doctor’s patients, many of whom had just had hysterectomies.  This was not good for me (although our epidurals managed their pain well).  My husband and I talked a lot and decided that I needed to make some changes.  This was not going to be a quick, easy process.  I needed to take care of myself and give us the best possible chance for me to get better and for us to have children.

So I made a lot of changes.

First, my program director and chief residents helped me reorganize my residency schedule.  I stopped taking call.  The prospect of spending every night at home in my own bed was therapeutic in itself.  I would also have weekends to rest and spend time with my hubby.  With the help of an amazing co-resident, I worked half days for the rest of my month on the pain service.  I went in at noon and left around 5-6.  I was able to get sleep, exercise, and make healthy meals, most of which are not part of a resident’s average day.  After July, I started to do research time instead of clinical time.  This allowed me to work from home, make my own schedule, and really take care of myself.  I knew my next procedure and news would be at the end of September so I scheduled research until then, with the option of adding additional time afterwards. 

Second, I explored other options to take care of myself.  I saw oncology nutrition and incorporated their suggestions into my diet.  I started acupuncture treatments.  I read a book on meditation and started practicing.  I have always tried to exercise consistently but my schedule did not always permit it.  With more time on my hands I went to yoga and spinning classes frequently and spent time at the gym otherwise.  I was not sleeping well, occasionally being awake for hours at a time at night, so I let myself sleep in or take naps when I felt like I needed to. 

It is now the end of January and I am “hanging in there.”  After the June procedure I doubled the  megace dose to the highest level.  I had another procedure in September that came back as complex hyperplasia without atypia, another small step in the right direction but not normal.  And another in January that just came back as a small amount of atypical glandular proliferation.  Per my doctor this is close to normal, but still not normal.  We are not clear for fertility treatments but I am continuing on hormonal therapy with megace.

I think blogging helps me organize my thoughts and emotions so my goal is to get back into it.  I also hope to provide insight for others who battle this disease.  I will try to fill you in on the events of the last few months and keep you posted as we go forward.